Somewhere, my flower is there.

Sinking Friendships:

Recently there have been so many changes i’m experiencing. When I was younger, I’ve come to realize, just how heavily I relied on the support of my ‘best friend’ of the time. A best friend to me served as a vault, someone I trusted with any issue I was having, and someone I felt most comfortable around. I always tried so hard to stay close with these best friends, but needless to say, I’ve fallen out of touch with most of them. My friend i’ve had the longest was Kaitlin, spanning from Kindergarten till grade 9. In grade 9 was when I changed a lot and she did not. Yet Kaitlin remains the most faithful person I know, and although we don’t see each other often now, I know she’s there anytime I need that old idea of a best friend. I’ve had four other friends I would classify as my former best friends other than Kaitlin. All of them I loved and cared about for such different reasons. Only 1 of the 4 I do not talk to now, for reasons I don’t really understand. But that’s the point. We dedicate so much of our love, effort, and time to this person, expecting the same thing back. But what builds a friend to me now is not the time you put into a friendship, but the over all compatibility. This doesn’t mean the similarities between friends, but enjoying the time you spend with this person, genuinely. 

Recently i’ve gotten into an argument with a girl I called my best friend from grade 6 till recently. I’ve given up putting effort into our friendship because I came to realize that the only thing that made me keep trying to be her friend was that we’ve been friends for almost 9 years. We know each other really well, but I don’t have anything in common with her, and I don’t agree with the lifestyle she chooses to live or the way she treats people. It’s sad to watch a friendship I cared so much about for a large portion of my life sink, but it also makes me appreciate what we did have, but helps me to know it’s time to move on. 

I’m content with my friends now, but I will not put one above the others and claim a best friend. They each mean so much to me, and i’ll hold onto them as long as it makes sense to. 

I’m thankful for all the people i’ve called my friends. Past, Present.

Love always.

An article I wrote for Decked out Daily:

deckedoutdaily:

H&M’S NEW COVER GIRL:

An article (link below) found in New York Fashion Magazine explains H&M’s new directions with their models. That being to not use models at all. H&M has admitted that the new ‘Models’ for their lingerie line are Computer Generated. A spokes person for H&M confirms that these models are “completely virtual”. Now, let’s not be too hard on the people over at H&M for creating a Frankenstein style of ‘perfect model’, they explain how they did shoot real models, only to superimpose their heads and faces onto a digitally created flawless body. Now to me, this is not just unusual but it is also aesthetically incorrect and completely ethically incorrect. These ‘models’ look totally eerie. Other than the faces, the bodies and stance are practically identical on each woman. There is nothing natural looking about these models. The spokes person assures that it had nothing to do with trying to create the perfect body type for a women to fit, but only to showcase their lingerie properly. Well, if these ‘women’ are the type of women that are supposed to wear these garments, I have a feeling H&M will be losing quite a bit of money seeing as no one literally can look like these JPEG’s. The morality of this campaign to me, despite what they say to cover their archaic minds up, is completely twisted. In a world where beautiful women exist in every corner this implies, they are not perfect enough to model this companies line. We now have to bring in women COMPLETELY edited, to show us how we should look. It says, no matter how beautiful you think you are, no matter how good you think you look, and no matter how comfortable you are in your own body, you’ll never be as perfect as these pixels H&M has so monstrously created.

-ec

What do you think?

Full Article

It's real, though, the fury.

even when it isn't.

It can change you, 

   
turn you

mold you and shape you

into someone you're not.

 The only upside

to anger, then is the person you become.

Hopefully someone that wakes up one day   

            
and realizes they're not afraid of its journey.

Someone that knows that the truth is, at best,

a partially told story.    

That anger, like growth,

 comes in spurts and fits

and in its wake,

leaves a new chance

at acceptance

    
                   
and the promise of calm.

    
              

Summer is over.

For the past week i’ve read various statuses and heard lots of people talk about how excited they were to go back to school. I feel like something is terribly wrong with me because at this point I think I’d rather pay money to NOT go back. It’s not that I don’t like my program, I really do. But this whole summer i’ve been dreading the end of it. This summer was different than the rest of my summers since starting University, so much changed and because of this I feared going back to school and being in Toronto all the time because I’m scared to be left behind with my old friends and boy. So much has changed in everyone’s life, that it’s hard to not feel small in other peoples worlds.

Yet I’ve learned so much this summer, i’ve completely opened my eyes to things i’ve never understood before. I’ve also learned a lot about myself. And although I’m writing this in bed, before I have to wake up in the morning to head to my first day of third year University and dreading the thought, I know this sinking feeling will go away.

Everything takes getting used to, and because of this I know I will get back into the groove that is school and I will realize that not that much will change. Summer, after all is just a season, and my roots go much deeper than that.

It’s hard living far away from the people you care about most, but you have to be confident in knowing that your presence will be missed and just because you’re not able to see the people you want to most, it does not mean they will forget about you.

Two years down, two to go.

This will be the hardest year yet, but I know it’s where I need to be.
I just hope i’m big enough to stick around in your heart. Feeling small and unimportant is one of the worst feelings, so you must be brave and know that you’re worth the fight and effort.

Don’t let me go. 

I wish everyone a happy and successful year, in school or not.  

Let me tell you how excited I am to see ‘My Week with Marilyn’ with Michelle Williams. I think she’ll make a pretty good Marilyn. 

Through thick and thin, I’m so glad I have you in my life. 
Never too far.